Paternity questions have long been a source of tension in many cultures, often leading to heartbreak, legal battles, and family disputes. While a mother is always certain of her biological connection to her child, a father may live with lingering doubt that can silently erode trust and intimacy in relationships.

In Nigeria, demand for paternity testing has surged in recent years, fueled by rising paternity fraud controversies and the need for truth in family dynamics. But beyond just answering the question of biological fatherhood, could Paternity DNA testing bring couples closer?

This article explores how paternity DNA testing when approached with understanding and openness, can strengthen relationships, rebuild trust, and create a foundation of honesty that fosters deeper emotional connections between Nigerian couples.

Understanding The Basics of Paternity DNA Testing 

Paternity DNA testing is a simple and reliable way to determine biological relationships between a child and a potential father. This test compares the DNA of the child and the alleged father to identify matching genetic markers, which are passed down from parent to child. With an accuracy rate of over 99.9%, it’s considered the most definitive way to confirm paternity.

Historically, early attempts to establish paternity relied on unconventional and less accurate techniques until DNA tests came in. For instance, Albert Abrams’ oscilloscope measured blood vibrations to determine paternity, while Brazilian dentist Luiz Silva analyzed teeth, jaw structures, and facial features to establish biological relationships (Patrick et al., 2021).

While traditionally used in legal or personal cases of determining paternity, DNA testing also provides peace of mind for families. It’s a tool that not only confirms biological connections but can also play a critical role in matters like child support, inheritance rights, and medical history.

Whether it’s for emotional closure or legal necessity, understanding paternity DNA testing empowers individuals to make informed decisions about their family and relationships.

Why People Conduct  Paternity DNA Tests

Paternity DNA tests are conducted for various reasons, including legal, personal, and medical concerns. The following are some of such reasons;

1. Doubts and Uncertainty: When a person has doubts about biological fatherhood, it can create emotional and psychological stress for both parents and the child. A paternity test provides scientific proof, either confirming or ruling out paternity, bringing clarity to the situation.

2. Disputes over infidelity: In cases where unfaithfulness is suspected in a relationship, a paternity test can help determine if a child was conceived within the relationship or as a result of an affair. This can influence personal decisions, trust issues, and future commitments in a relationship.

3. Medical reasons: Knowing biological parentage is crucial for medical history purposes, as certain genetic conditions, hereditary diseases, and organ donation compatibility depend on biological relationships. A paternity test helps in understanding potential health risks and providing accurate medical information.

4. Immigration Purposes: Some countries require DNA proof of biological relationships when a person applies for family-based immigration or citizenship. A paternity test can serve as evidence to support an immigration application when birth records are insufficient or unavailable.

5. Surrogacy and Assisted Reproduction: In cases involving surrogacy, sperm donation, or in vitro fertilization (IVF), paternity tests can confirm that the intended biological parents are correctly identified. This ensures legal and medical clarity, preventing mix-ups or disputes regarding parental rights.

Key Considerations for Paternity Testing 

• Avoid a breach of trust: If one partner secretly initiates the test or forces it upon the other, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment. Open discussions and agreement on the test help maintain trust, ensuring that both individuals feel respected and valued in the decision-making process. 
• Legal and ethical issues: In some regions, conducting a DNA test without the consent of the other parent or legal guardian can result in legal consequences. Additionally, ethical considerations come into play when deciding how the test results will be used and shared. Having a mutual agreement ensures that both parties are aware of their rights and responsibilities, preventing any legal disputes or ethical dilemmas. 
• Strengthen the relationship: Paternity tests can be emotionally charged, and if one partner feels attacked or accused, it may cause strain in the relationship. However, when both individuals agree on the test and understand its purpose, it reduces tension and fosters a sense of teamwork, allowing the couple to navigate the process together rather than in opposition.  
• Protect the child’s well-being: A paternity test can impact a child’s emotional and psychological health, especially if not handled properly. Parents need to discuss how they will communicate the results to the child (if applicable) and ensure that the process does not cause unnecessary distress. Prioritizing the child’s emotional security helps in making responsible decisions that foster a stable and supportive family environment.

Ways of Creating Stronger Bonds Before, During, and After Paternity Test

A paternity test can stir up a lot of emotions, and it’s natural for a couple to experience tension or uncertainty throughout the process. However, there are several ways to strengthen your bond before, during, and after the test, ensuring that you face the situation together and come out stronger on the other side.

Before the Test: Set a Foundation of Trust and Open Communication

• Talk about Your Feelings: Before deciding to take the test, sit down together and openly discuss why you’re considering it. Be honest about your doubts, fears, and motivations. This sets the stage for a transparent conversation and ensures that both partners understand each other’s perspectives.
  
• Reassure Each Other: If the test is being done due to doubts or external pressures, reassure each other that the goal is not to create more distance or distrust but to find clarity. Remind yourselves that this decision is made together, and you both want to build a foundation based on truth, no matter the outcome.
  
• Set Expectations: Discuss what you both expect from the process, whether it’s emotional support or just getting through it with as little drama as possible. Knowing what you both need ahead of time can prevent surprises and unnecessary stress during the process.
  

During the Test: Be Supportive and Stay United

• Lean on Each Other: The process of taking the test itself can feel tense, so it’s important to stay connected emotionally. Whether it’s holding hands, offering reassuring words, or simply staying calm together, small gestures of support can go a long way.
  
• Stay Calm and Respectful: If you feel nervous or anxious, try to remain composed. The atmosphere during the test should be as calm and neutral as possible. Avoid blaming or making accusations, as this can add unnecessary tension. Instead, focus on the goal of clarity and moving forward, no matter what the results might be.
  
• Be Present for Each Other: Whether you’re at the lab together or waiting for results, stay present. This means actively supporting your partner by listening, comforting, and being emotionally available. It’s essential to show that, regardless of the outcome, you’re in this together.
  

After the Test: Build a Stronger Connection Through Acceptance and Action

• Process Emotions Together: After the results come in, take the time to process them as a couple. If the results were expected, take a moment to appreciate the clarity. If they were surprising or unexpected, it’s important to talk openly about your emotions and how you both feel about the outcome. Be patient with each other as you work through any confusion, sadness, or relief.
  
• Reaffirm Your Commitment: Regardless of the results, reaffirm your commitment to each other and to the child. If the paternity test confirms the father’s biological connection, it’s important to solidify the father’s role emotionally. If the result is unexpected, the couple should have an honest conversation about the future of their relationship and how to move forward with mutual respect and understanding.
  
• Focus on the Family: If children are involved, remember that the test is only one part of the bigger picture. Whether the test result is expected or surprising, prioritize the well-being of the child and make decisions that will create a stable and loving environment. The couple should work together to maintain a healthy relationship, even if it means navigating co-parenting or restructuring family roles.

What to do if the Test Reveals Unexpected Result

When a paternity test reveals unexpected results, handling the situation with care and maturity is crucial to minimize emotional distress and maintain healthy relationships.  

• Acceptance –  While the results may be shocking or difficult to process, acknowledging the truth is essential for moving forward. Denial or avoidance can lead to prolonged emotional suffering and conflict. Accepting the outcome allows individuals to start making informed decisions based on reality rather than speculation.  
• Seek accuracy and Confirmation –  Mistakes in DNA testing, though rare, can happen due to lab errors, sample contamination, or misinterpretation of results. If the outcome is unexpected, conducting a second test with a reputable laboratory can help verify its accuracy. This step ensures that all decisions made afterward are based on confirmed facts.  
• Seek emotional support – Since unexpected paternity results can be emotionally overwhelming, it is essential to seek emotional support. Confiding in a trusted friend, family member, therapist, or support group can help process feelings of shock, disappointment, or betrayal. Professional counseling can be particularly helpful in navigating the complex emotions that arise from such revelations.  
• Handle the situation with maturity –  Reacting with anger, blame, or impulsive decisions can worsen the situation. Instead, taking time to process emotions before making any major life choices allows for a more rational and thoughtful response. Acting with maturity ensures that all parties involved, especially the child, are protected from unnecessary harm.  
• Have a calm discussion about what comes next – Whether the test results affect relationships, child custody, or family dynamics, open and honest conversations are necessary. Both parties should discuss their feelings, concerns, and possible steps forward, whether that means co-parenting arrangements, legal decisions, or redefining family roles. A calm approach helps maintain respect and prevents further emotional damage. 

How to Move Forward if the Test Confirms Paternity 

If a paternity test confirms biological fatherhood, moving forward positively and responsibly is crucial for strengthening family bonds and ensuring a healthy environment for the child.  

• Rebuild trust – If the test was requested due to doubts or conflicts, it may have created tension between partners. Rebuilding trust requires open communication, honesty, and a commitment to strengthening the relationship. The father should reassure the mother that the test was not meant to harm their bond but to provide clarity. Likewise, the mother should be understanding of any previous uncertainties. Working through any lingering emotions with patience and respect helps restore confidence in the relationship.  

• Develop genuine love for the child and the mother – Biological confirmation of paternity is just the beginning, what truly matters is the emotional connection that follows. The father should actively participate in the child’s life, offering emotional support, love, and care. Spending quality time, providing guidance, and being a present and responsible parent help build a strong father-child bond. Additionally, maintaining a healthy relationship with the mother, whether as a partner or co-parent, creates a stable and loving environment for the child. Even if the parents are not in a romantic relationship, treating each other with respect and cooperation ensures that the child grows up in a positive and supportive atmosphere.  

How Paternity DNA Test Can Create Stronger Bonds Between Couples 

A paternity DNA test, when approached with mutual understanding, can strengthen the bond between couples in several ways. 

1. Reduce external pressure – In many cases, doubts about paternity arise due to societal expectations, family influence, or external accusations. By taking a paternity test, couples can eliminate uncertainty and silence outside opinions, allowing them to focus on their relationship without interference or pressure from others.  
2. Enhance the parent-child relationship – When a father is certain about his biological connection to a child, it can deepen his emotional investment and willingness to be present in the child’s life. This, in turn, fosters a more stable and supportive family environment, benefiting both the child and the couple’s relationship.  
3. Resolving family conflicts –  Disputes over paternity often lead to misunderstandings and tension within families. By providing clear and scientific proof, the test helps settle disagreements and allows families to move forward without lingering doubts or resentment. This resolution promotes harmony, reducing stress and potential conflicts between the couple and their extended family members.  
4. Empowering the child’s personal identity – Knowing their biological background gives them a sense of belonging and security. When both parents acknowledge and embrace the child with certainty, it fosters a stronger emotional connection and a positive sense of self-worth. This shared sense of responsibility and identity further strengthens the couple’s bond.  
5. Provides emotional reassurance – Whether the result confirms expectations or reveals unexpected truths, having certainty eliminates emotional distress caused by doubt. Couples who navigate the process together with support and understanding can emerge from it with a stronger, more trusting relationship, knowing they have faced a difficult situation with honesty and unity.  

Conclusion

Paternity DNA testing is often seen as a source of conflict, but when handled with openness and understanding, it can actually strengthen relationships. By removing doubts and providing clarity, it helps rebuild trust, reduce stress, and create a more stable family environment. For couples, approaching the test with mutual agreement and respect can prevent unnecessary tension and make the process smoother. While the results can sometimes be challenging, handling them with care and maturity can lead to healing and stronger connections. In the end, paternity testing isn’t just about confirming biological ties, it’s about building trust, fostering honesty, and creating a healthier, more supportive family bond.

Author’s Bio

Owoyemi Hanifat Opeyemi, B.Sc., M.Sc., is a dedicated Psychology enthusiast and Mental Health Advocate with a strong commitment to supporting individuals’ well-being. Currently serving as the Client Liaison Officer and In-house Counselor at SmartDNA, she provides essential Pre-test and Post-test counseling to clients, ensuring their emotional and psychological support throughout the process. 

As an emerging Psychology professional, Owoyemi also conducts research focused on assessing the cognitive and behavioral effects of neurological disorders, contributing to a deeper understanding of mental health challenges. With her expertise and passion, she works tirelessly to bridge the gap between psychological care and personalized client support.